I become more dismayed every day at the failure not only of feminism to acknowledge that gender is a variable (for that is to be expected), but of others to point this out. Here are some points on the subject which are by no means a masterpiece.

 

The brilliant Girl Writes What has a great video on atheism (for those of you who don’t know, feminism has caused significant disagreement within the atheist community) where she points out that the question of whether God exists and the issue of whether religion is good or bad are separate, and that conflating the two is problematic. It seems to me that the same logic can be applied to the question of gender differences; the idea that gender differences are socially constructed rather than innate, of course, forms the backbone of much of the feminist activity going on today (hence campaigns seeking to brand princess related toys ‘sexist’ etc.), is separate to the question of whether those differences are good or bad.

 

Anyway, feminists currently working on the theory that we are all brainwashed into our gender roles bemoan this tragedy. But they also accuse people who make ‘negative’ generalisations about women (apparently they are the self-appointed judges of what is and is not ‘negative’) of being ‘sexist’. Hang on a minute though, if us women really are brainwashed into…shock horror… liking shoes, then we like shoes. Surely in that case it’s not sexist to say that we like shoes, is it? Or is it sexist because women don’t actually like shoes, and the whole thing’s a lie? Because in that case we can’t be brainwashed, can we? Make up your mind please. Otherwise we end up in a totally circular train of logic – ‘women like shoes because they live in a society that tells them to like shoes’. Aside from being a total insult to the intelligence of women, this argument fails to address any external factors for why this might be. (Go on someone; tell me in the comments that the external factor is ‘patriarchy’. Go on. Do it.)

 

So, I think feminism shouldn’t get to have it both ways – if gender differences are ingrained from birth, why bother branding those who draw attention to these differences as ‘sexists’. Either the stereotypes have a basis in day to day reality or they don’t. If you want people to stop saying that women love shoes because you don’t think that sort of thing should be encouraged (because you think gender differences are bad), why not explain to the people who make adverts like the one in the link above that they ought to join in the righteous reconditioning of social consciousness – using all product design and marketing material to teach women and men right thinking, rather than to sell products? Oh, wait. Nobody would listen to such puritanical nonsense. Better stick to the oppression theory in that case.

 

Doesn’t it seem more likely that while men and women are equally capable of shallowness, callousness, greed and superficiality, that the manner in which these traits are expressed will be conditioned by gender to a certain extent?

 

For example, does it not make sense that people will interact with individuals who are potential sexual partners differently to how they interact with those who are not? And that this might hold when a person is being both pleasant and unpleasant?

 

But no. None of this logic is allowed, because men and women are supposed to be equal. Equal as in the same. Nobody is allowed to mention the word ‘biology’ (seriously, they fall into name-calling apoplexy if you do), and therefore nobody is allowed to suggest that we might want to view gender as a scientific variable. Nothing can be the result of a variety of factors coming together to produce an outcome; only discrimination can explain why the world doesn’t allow people who are slightly smaller and have babies & boobies to live lives just like men.

 

Well, I’m not just a less muscular version of a man, thank you very much. My strength does not lie in muscular power. If, on average, men are capable of physically overpowering women does it not make sense that women have a different kind of power, a different potency, a different allure? And yes, that power might be connected to sexuality. You may not like that it is, but just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean there’s an evil abstract entity enforcing it that you have to bring down.

 

Well, anyway that was my little foray into feminist thinking. Now I’m going to return to something I said above. I think it might be a little bit more likely. The real problem here is that feminists don’t like gender differences. And that’s ok. You don’t have to like everything. And you can campaign against anything you don’t like. That’s the beauty of living in a free country (although here in the UK feminism is working on changing that, but anyway…). But please don’t construct a narrative in which we are all at the mercy of an invisible force that only you have the intelligence to see and understand.

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The Rape Culture Epidemic-Thoughts From An Actual Rape Victim

I believe this is a really important article: disagreeing with the ‘rape culture’ theory does not make you a rape apologist or victim blamer.

TheRockabillyButterfly

Rape Culture is a term that is now widely used among many bloggers and media personalities. In light of the Steubenville case, there have been many posts by female bloggers in regards to “changing” this aspect of our society. What is Rape Culture? Rape Culture is a term that is used to describe a culture that shows acceptance and even support of rape. According to many feminist groups, this is the culture that we are currently living in. What? Really? So let me get this straight…we are currently living in a culture where people support rape. Interesting. I’m pretty sure that the majority of people don’t think that rape is cool and to call our society a Rape Culture is a little extreme. I haven’t really seen too many articles coming out from actual rape victims, so I wanted to give my perspective on it to maybe help shed a…

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Ironic but terrifying: Draft EU legislation that seeks to suppress anti-feminist opinions

I am sorry it has taken me so long to write another post – things have been pretty busy at work, plus I have been spending my time trying to understand the wonderful world of Twitter. Driven to the site by my desire to babble away through the Twittersilence (ahhh that wonderful idea of Ms Moran’s that set the feminists at each other’s throats) I have discovered both amazing support but also feminist fueled insanity that has made me more determined than ever to challenge the self-righteousness of a set of people who believe that nothing should happen in this world on terms other than their own.

The draft of the new EU regulations is available here and calls for ‘concrete action to combat intolerance, in particular with a view to eliminating, racism, colour-bias, ethnic discrimination, religious intolerance, totalitarian ideologies, xenophobia, anti-Semitism, anti-feminism and homophobia’.

Seriously? What the hell is wrong with the phrase ‘equal gender rights’? What serious person is actually going to have a problem with a term like that?

Oh the irony of the fact that in the same sentence they are trying to get rid of ‘totalitarian ideologies’…

Feminism here is the odd one out – the only example above in which people are obliged to adopt a particular ideology, and where opposition to that ideology can be assumed as an intolerant act. That’s almost like calling me Islamophobic because I don’t convert to Islam and live as a Muslim. Or that I am against civil rights because I don’t attend black power meetings and call myself a black power activist. Call it ‘gender equality’ and I’ll sign up. We don’t need an ‘ism’ for that. I do appreciate the difference between the terms ‘anti-feminist’ and ‘non-feminist’ – I personally try to use the term non-feminist because I want to show that I respect the rights of people to be part of it as an ideology. But I also deserve the right to criticise that ideology, particularly when it’s owners are trying to spread it in such a militant way. Does opposing feminist views make me an anti-feminist? Probably – but I believe I have the right to opt out of a label that by its very nature implies that the world is wrong and needs to be re-organised.

I and others come under tremendous attack when we argue that feminism is not synonymous with ‘equal gender rights’, and indeed one of the main things that an examination of how ‘feminism’ is coming across on Twitter has convinced me is that one of the most significant problems here is the word ‘feminism’ itself. Is it not obvious that using the word ‘feminism’ to define gender equality only works if one buys into the idea that life is so skewed, unfair and biased against women that the whole system has to be redesigned to compensate for this? For anyone who does not believe this to be true the idea of ‘feminism’ becomes an entirely self-defeating argument – as the term focuses on one gender only as the key to ‘equality’. Oh and to those idiots who say that feminism is better for everyone because in countries with more feminism there is more freedom for the rest of society too… don’t you think that it might… just possibly… be the other way around? Just think about cause and effect there for a second please.

I personally can’t think of any other issue where the ‘problem’ isn’t given the special name (such as racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, terrorism) and viewed as some sort of an opt-in. However with feminism it’s ok to assume that the whole world is evil unless they choose to adopt this particular label – which in turn gives the feminists the ammunition to argue that anyone who refuses to adopt their label is evidence for the need of feminism, rather than that fact people just think it’s a load of immature nonsense that fails to deal with the real issues and that they may, in fact, be right.

Do a search for the term ‘feminism’ on Twitter and see what comes up. There will almost certainly be a bunch of tweets along the lines of ‘to all those people who say they’re not feminists… you just don’t understand what it means!’ I think it’s time we started pointing out that the solution to someone disagreeing with you is not just to call them stupid.

Or at least we’d better take the opportunity to do that until we’re prevented from doing so by law.

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Banner which I’ll hopefully be using on twitter!

Banner which I'll hopefully be using on twitter!

I made this for my twitter account @femalefedupwith

Please feel free to take it and use it if you like.

Sorry for taking so long to post – life’s been really busy and I have just not had time to write about the things I see all the time that are so wrong.

Also thanks for all the new follows, and sorry to anyone whose comments have made it into the spam folder and been lost!

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Open letter to @twitter from Female Fed Up With Feminism

Dear Twitter,

I would first like to make it clear that I do not wish to silence anyone or deprive them of their rights. I fully believe that men and women deserve equal rights – I just don’t feel that as a woman I need an ‘ism’ to prove it.

I am writing as I feel that it is important to make you aware that those organising and taking part in the twittersilence protest do not necessarily represent the views of all women, and wish you to take this into consideration when making any future policy changes.

Please do not let the debate as to what should and should not be allowed on your website be dictated by the feminist agenda. If any other ideology were asking to be the judge of the parameters of free speech on the internet that would be stopped – please do not bestow preferential treatment here as this would be unfair to many other groups and opinions and set a disturbing precedent.

Of course, the issue of balancing freedom of speech with the protection of individuals from harassment is greatly important, and because social media are evolving so rapidly the rules and regulations need to be constantly debated and reassessed. However, we have laws to deal with this. Please let these decisions be made in a calm and collected way by groups of experts, which ought to include or at least take account of the testimony of legal experts, law makers, democratically elected members of government, philosophers, human rights groups, consumer groups and technological experts.

I believe that these rules should be arrived at via a democratic process which involves both philosophy and practicality – not via the agenda of any one particular group.

Yours Faithfully

Elena Rider

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Feminists: Present yourself as a female and nothing else, and that is how you will be treated

I have to hand it to the feminists – they certainly are making things happen. Web giants such as Facebook and Twitter are (or will be very shortly by the looks of it) changing their policies, in the UK government policy is being changed, important issues regarding social media and harassment are finally being dealt with. As I have mentioned before, all these issues are concerned with what should and shouldn’t be possible to do on the internet and that is a debate we need to have. However, what frightens me terribly is the fact that all these things are being done in accordance with the feminist agenda, and in some cases feminists are even dictating the changes altogether.

I find this incredibly disturbing – the entire new feminist wave is based on the idea of the ‘patriarchy’ and the fact that women have such a ‘long way to go’. I have no problem with people expressing these ideas, but the issue for me is that they are not a foregone conclusion – exactly who has proven that there is a ‘war on women’? Nobody! And yet this is being discussed as an absolute fact and allowed to dictate the agenda and actions of both commercial entities and government.

What we have here are a group of women who present themselves and their achievements solely on the basis of their gender. People like Mary Beard, Caroline Criado-Perez, Catlin Moran etc. do what they do specifically as women. This strikes me as contradictory anyway, since the whole point of feminism is that gender shouldn’t be a massive factor in what someone can or can’t achieve, but the point here is that they, their purposes and agenda are overtly feminist and call attention to their gender.

And then we have the trolls. Trolls are people who get a kick out of saying the worst possible thing at the worst possible moment. This is an appalling, upsetting and immature thing to, but, once it has already become someone’s objective, what is the worst thing you can possibly say to a woman directly involved in the present day feminist wave? I’ll rape you. So that is what they said. Someone in the Times last Wednesday described their tactics as ‘classic trolling behaviour’, so its not as if this practice was invented to attack this particular group of women. Once again, I am not saying that this behaviour should not be stopped, simply that it is not evidence of a ‘war on women’.

When you couple this behaviour with the present atmosphere in which sexism has become the default explanation for any unpleasant behaviour or social problem, suddenly you get people taking the threats of trolls seriously. I believe that there is a very valid parallel to be drawn with the accusatory atmosphere that led to the Salem Witch trials – anything odd or unpleasant was immediately attributed to witchcraft – with disastrous consequences. Society and the media, wild with feminist frenzy, observe anything that might cause a woman distress and then constructs a narrative which attributes it to misogyny.

When trolls leave disgusting comments, say, after a child has died pretending to be that child telling its parents it is alive, we are rightly shocked. But do we construe from this a parent/child hating culture in which there is a war on the family? Do we decide that as a society we lack sympathy for the bereaved? Of course not! Disgusting comments that have been made to the editors of GQ Magazine about their One Direction covers have failed to offend anyone, as do graphic and vitriolic comments about Conservative politicians, yet these are not being construed as evidence that society is totally unbalanced.

I am sick of listening to people like Mary Beard on Woman’s Hour talking about how much ‘courage’ it takes for any female to speak in public. There is a huge amount of women out there who talk about themselves, how they approach life and everything they do from the stand point of their gender. How do these ppeople expect the idiots out there to react? There are loads of women with a public profile who do not receive graphic messages about what men think of their vaginas, and that’s probably because they are getting on with an honest day’s work rather than asking for a medal for being a woman. And what is the best thing to do if someone sends you an obscene message? Of course, if you believe there is a genuine threat then you need to inform the police, but is the best thing to do really to give these people huge amounts of publicity while at the same time giving other people obscene ideas? The trolls who recently targeted feminists have made headline news and will be remembered for it for a long time. Probably exactly the result they were looking for. And what do the targeted women get out of the publicity that it generated? Vindication of their cause.

I am sure that I will be accused of wanting women to suffer in silence after what I have written above; not at all. Both the authorities and Twitter/Facebook should be able to instantly suspend and take action against people who create obscene material without the media having to get involved, and the fact that this is changing is good. I am just appalled that feminism is the only force that seems to have the power to make things happen – and that they are essentially happening because of an ideology which takes everything as evidence of its own righteousness and that threatens to demonise anyone who dares to question its supremacy. Not to mention the fact that for abuse or threats against women to be taken more seriously than the terror that faces any other group is sexist and unfair in the extreme.

What would I have these vocal feminists do differently? Well, for a start stop making a career out of your gender when your philosophy is supposed to be about men and women being the same. Maybe go out and do something worthy of getting a your own face on a banknote rather than spend your life campaigning for positive discrimination. Perhaps you could take a leaf out of the book of Susie Wolff, who despite having experienced people thinking she might not be able to become a Formula 1 Driver because she’s a woman very proudly states “I’m not going to play the card ‘I’m a girl so give me the car I’m fast enough’”.

I have seen people responding to the targeted feminists with messages of support. Of course, I have no problem with this – when someone has said hurtful things to you support from others really makes a difference. But some of these are really quite telling of what is actually going on here. Many of them praise these women for being ‘brave’ in the face of abuse. OK, even if we assume that society is so biased against women that becoming a women’s rights activist is in itself incredibly frightening and dangerous, surely once you have already become an activist these kinds of messages are exactly what you want to stand up against and exactly the kind of evidence you want that you are right. These women are all about bringing so-called sexism to the public eye, so what do you expect them to do? Quietly report it to the police and then drum up no public support at all. Oh, and nobody supports these women, do they? One of the most worrying comments I read involved someone saying that one of these women should keep fighting because ‘you have helped me feel so much less alone’. How are 52% of the world’s population supposed to be alone? Reading this you’d think we were all locked in cupboards! Has this woman turned on a TV, opened a newspaper or looked at the internet recently? How can she not see that anyone who doesn’t support feminism is being laughed out of the room? If they think they are alone maybe they should try being one of the people who doesn’t think feminism is the answer for a while.

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Solidarity: Bullying is NOT a feminist issue

Yet again I’m taking a break from preparing a longer article about the plethora of feminist twaddle that’s going on in the UK because something really important has caught my attention.

 

I’m writing this post in solidarity with Tarnished Sophia, who has very bravely shared her experiences of bullying, as well as several other writers.

 

Her post can be read here and is very moving. So much of it resonated with me, which is why I have been moved to write. There is no way that anything I experienced was quite as appalling as Sophia’s blog describes, but a lot of it rang true, so here is a brief description of what I went through and why it has certainly contributed to my belief that feminism is a load of bull.

 

I was always very different to all the other kids – and I went to quite a few schools! A lot of things were going on at home that I didn’t understand, I was dyslexic, and I had massive general knowledge and interests in things the other kids had never heard of. I was also rather unattractive. All this combined to result in me having a horrific experience until I turned about 15 and grew smart enough to realise what I needed to do to beat those morons at their own game.

 

In my time at school I was called EVERY nasty name you can possibly think of, spat on, kicked, punched, tripped up, tricked, laughed at, jeered at, insulted, told that my parents were divorced because they didn’t love me. EVERYTHING. You name it, it happened to me. Some of it did have to do with my gender, but ALL of it was done by both boys and girls. Children (and ignorant people) are programmed to attack anything different from themselves, anything threatening, anything unusual – so of course a lot of noticeable things about someone will often be connected to their gender such as hair, body shape, clothes, puberty etc. But we need to remember that these kinds of comments are a symptom of the fact that the people saying them (young or old) have no respect for others, not the cause of the problem. Of all nastiness I went through at school, I would not say that sexism was a part of it.

 

The most painful thing, though, had nothing to do with all this. The most painful thing was the exclusion. The refusal of many (and sometimes all) the members of my class(es) to admit that I was a person. People refused to sit near me, talk to me, work with me, and if they did ever give me attention it was to say something utterly vile; I actually remember wearing a nice new coat to school once and being told that it was too good for me and it was a shame that a better person couldn’t have it. This kind of behaviour was always spearheaded by the girls.

 

As I got older, I started to learn how to get along with the other kids – usually by dumbing my own opinions down unfortunately. Things improved, but I was frequently accused (always by females so it happens) that I was going out of my way to be different – this is a cheap, old trick that jealous people use to make you feel bad about yourself – NEVER let it get you down. One of the things the girls taunted and excluded me for was my strong non-feminist attitude. They would laugh at me, assert ‘there’s no difference between men and women’, and then promptly live their lives with no other objective than getting boys to like them – another reason for my hatred of feminist hypocrisy and belief that it is a totally self-defeating argument. I still cannot get over the irony that by the time I was 15 I was the only non-feminist female I knew, and yet often the only one who could have an normal conversation or friendship with a member of the opposite sex without turning it into some kind of immature game.

 

Please don’t let the feminists hijack this issue like they are doing with everything else – in the UK at the moment our government is finally dealing with the issue of what should and shouldn’t be available online. That’s important – the discussion needed to happen at some point, however it is happening on totally feminist terms, and many of the actions taking force are being dictated by the feminist agenda. This is wrong and frightening. National Socialism fixed a lot of problems in post Weimar Germany – but then look what happened when the ideology became inseparable from righteousness. Please don’t let bullying be the next domino in this disturbing chain of events.

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