The Rape Culture Epidemic-Thoughts From An Actual Rape Victim

I believe this is a really important article: disagreeing with the ‘rape culture’ theory does not make you a rape apologist or victim blamer.


Rape Culture is a term that is now widely used among many bloggers and media personalities. In light of the Steubenville case, there have been many posts by female bloggers in regards to “changing” this aspect of our society. What is Rape Culture? Rape Culture is a term that is used to describe a culture that shows acceptance and even support of rape. According to many feminist groups, this is the culture that we are currently living in. What? Really? So let me get this straight…we are currently living in a culture where people support rape. Interesting. I’m pretty sure that the majority of people don’t think that rape is cool and to call our society a Rape Culture is a little extreme. I haven’t really seen too many articles coming out from actual rape victims, so I wanted to give my perspective on it to maybe help shed a…

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About femalefedupwithfeminism

I am a very proud non feminist female. I believe that women and men are equally valid as people and I don't think women need an 'ism' to prove this. I don't believe in the 'patriarchy'. I don't believe that it is harder to be a woman than to be a man. I don't believe that everything that is gender specific is automatically sexist. I do not hate or wish harm to anyone; I simply believe that there is a more mature and constructive way of dealing with many of the problems faced by both men and women in today's confusing and changing world than applying what is essentially a fundamentalist ideology to every aspect of society and culture.
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8 Responses to The Rape Culture Epidemic-Thoughts From An Actual Rape Victim

  1. Thanks for the repost! I’m glad this is reaching the masses.

  2. Rick Belden says:

    Just ran across your blog this morning (via Twitter). Thank you for helping to broaden the discussion on the “rape culture” issue. You may also be interested in my perspective:

    Rick Belden

  3. Dear Rick,

    Thanks so much for posting and for the support – you sound inspirational! I am so sorry for what you suffered and I do not take pleasure in the fact that experiences like yours support the point I am trying to make.

    I thing the point you make about the ‘dogma dogfights’ is particularly important; the dogma with which feminism (by definition) views life’s problems coupled with the fact that feminism is becoming so closely associated with justice and righteousness makes for a very unconstructive and even dangerous mixture. I think that we can only hope to deal maturely and fairly with problems such as abuse and rape is to remove this kind of thinking. Sadly there is a group out there working everyone into a frenzy and using the idea of ‘rape culture’ as one of their chief weapons.

    I’m not really sure what we can do to make other views heard, but I think it’s incredibly important for voices like yours to be heard. Do not let them silence you and please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help!


    • Rick Belden says:

      Thank you for reading my post and for your very thoughtful response. I think it’s incredibly important for women to make their views known with regard to these matters. Among other reasons, it encourages more men to speak up about their experiences. As I said to a woman on Twitter a little over a week ago, “I feel appreciated whenever women stand up to constant drumbeat that men are idiots and/or root of all evil (usually both).” I’m sure I’m not the only man who feels that way.

      I tend, in my work, not to take on the political and ideological aspects of gender in a direct way. There are others who are better suited to that approach than I am. What I try to do is share my experience in a way that (hopefully) helps to counter some of the dehumanizing social conditioning with regard to men and the male experience that is so rampant and so universally and unconsciously accepted nowadays.

      I also hope to provide entry points for other men into their own experiences so they can begin to explore and express them more fully, if they wish. I believe that men are hungry for ways to access their emotions safely, but often lack both the opportunities and the practice needed to do so effectively. And no man wants to open up and be blamed, shamed, or scared into shutting back down again, but that’s exactly the situation in which many men find themselves in our current social environment.

      Again, thank you for stepping up and doing your part on behalf of men and boys, for the benefit of all.

      Best regards,

  4. justindevere says:

    I agree with your points. I think there are plenty of good biological reasons why women would (following your example) like shoes that don’t have anything to do with brainwashing. And then you look at people who are actually brainwashed, say, North Koreans. Their commitment to North Korean ideology, caused by actual brainwashing — is it really the same thing as a woman liking a certain pair of shoes? I.e., are both the North Korean and the woman living an unnatural, ‘brainwashed’ existence? No, I don’t think these two forms of so-called brainwashing can be compared. I think the woman isn’t brainwashed and the North Korean is, is why.

    Hah, hope my reply wasn’t too convoluted!

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